👩‍💼 My Boldest Professional Move Last Year

My daughter Gwen and I in our backyard

Writing a year-end wrap-up after my first year as a parent feels like a fool’s errand. Most of what I’ve experienced lives in that space words dance around but can’t quite touch. And I believe that most of what I’ve learned is yet to surface.

But I can say for certain this year marked a milestone in my business.​

I took time off. A lot of it.

And that was a big, scary commitment. What would my business look like when I came back? Would it vanish? Could I share anything about being a parent without losing credibility?

It turns out even as mother I am not immune to American culture’s disregard of motherhood as crucial work. Internalized pressure to produce, produce, produce weighed more heavily than expected. It crept in on moments of play and exploring with my daughter. While recovering from birth. While navigating health insurance. Even while breastfeeding, I’ve thought about my messy inbox with an itch of inadequacy.

Commitment to work is a lot like commitment to not doing work. It feels risky and you have to re-commit, over and over. It can make you feel alone. But the deeper the commitment, the more you have to gain on the other side of it.